Grandma

Over the Christmas season I learned a very hard lesson. Well a few actually but for the most part it was to let go of grudges, live each day to the fullest and love those who are a part of your life. Basically s bunch of cliched lessons we all discover at some point. Unfortunately I've had a bit of a rocky relationship with my dad throughout my life. I didn't spend a lot of time with him as a child and as I became an adult we had our differences that separated us for a few years. Unfortunately he was not a part of my life during the time I got engaged and got married, which also separated me from his family as well. I have never been very close with my dad, relatively speaking,and I have been even less connected to his side of the family. Geographical distance has played a part in this but I'm assuming divorce and my lack of closeness with my dad has affected it as well. When I found out I was pregnant with Alexander I decided it was best to bury the hatchet with my Dad and try to make our relationship work, after all he was about to become a Grandpa for the first time. Things progressed slowly with us but it was a step in the right direction.  In the fall, after Alexander was born, my Grandma (dads mom), came for a visit to meet her great grandson, I had not seen her in 10 years! But unfortunately she came bearing bad news and it was that her health was deteriorating and she was ill with cancer. She had also brought some very special pieces of family jewelry which I am very proud to have in my possession. We communicated through photos and letters back and forth over the next few short months but in December she lost her fight with cancer and was taken to the kingdom of heaven. In the span of a few short days serval family members of whom I have never met, contacted me to send their condolences. I felt terrible for receiving these messages and felt as though I should be the one sending them! I felt undeserving because I had not known my grandma very well and because of the distance between my dad and I. I also felt strangely happy about the family I was connecting with. It hurt me that it took a death to bring family to together but I was very grateful to be meeting family I so often wondered about. I exchanged several emails and Facebook messages with cousins, aunts and uncles and began to leaner a lot about my family that I had never known. These exchanges helped me to understand the relationship with my Dad a lot better as well. Despite that it was a terrible circumstance to bring family together, I am grateful that we were able to unite. I am looking very forward to continuing to getting to know my family, and hopefully one day meet them. I am sure my Grandma is watching from heaven and pleased that her family is becoming more connected.